I have a friend whose son is going through a divorce. My first thought was to write a few short prayers on what or how to pray during this season. But, can I be honest? I didn’t want to write them. I was gripped with a fear that in some way I might be almost prophetically be writing to my future self. That should I pen some words for someone in a place I would never want to be, I would, in some way, seal my own destiny.
How cruel the enemy is.
How dangerous are his lies?
How wrong the deceiver is.
For I know the truth. My Lord doesn’t see my expression as paving a way to some future self-proclaimed reality. No! This is a friend, a brother, an ally – I am taking a position of support and comfort. I choose to write and not be made to think that this has some hold on my children.
“Lord, break any hold these words may have on my children.
Lord, My soul wasn’t made to hold such pain.”
I lie awake with hurt and anger. The minutes and hours tick by as the cold dark night creeps on and I’m still stuck with my mind racing.
“Father, show me a way forward. Let me see you can still be in this. I’m scared for my son. I’m scared for my grandchildren. This isn’t supposed to be this way. I feel so helpless. I feel so frustrated. Can’t there be another way? How could she do this? How could it get to this point?”
I’m exhausted. The ache in my heart doesn’t ever go away. So what do I pray? I pray…
“God, protect me – I know the liar wants to deceive me even more. I know that I am prone to attack because I’m so tired and weary. I pray that you keep the enemy far from me and that you save me from the plots of the dark one who is set on destroying me. Send out the guard, God, and position yourself all around me.” (Psalm 59)
I pray…
“God, fill me with faith in a place where I could quickly give in to fear. Where I could be paralyzed with anxious thoughts and worry could consume, I need faith. I need a faith that sees that you can still be trusted. That you are safe. That even in the place where my troubles are multiplied, I am secure in your wrap-around presence.” (Psalm 62)
I pray…
“God, for revelation – I know not which way to go from here. I need your guidance on this day in this moment. I need your wisdom in the future days and in my conversations. Help me to draw from the truths that sustain me. Let me find shelter in this storm. I need help in this mess God so I look to you to help me again.” (Psalm 27)